Ask for What You Want
My friend Debra Alfarone is an incredible mentor, an accomplished journalist and a beacon of positivity. She coaches entrepreneurs and a tribe of TV news women to get out of their own way. That all starts with preparation and confidence.
When we first connected in 2016, Debra helped me grow as an anchor, reporter and person. She was the inspiration I needed to reach my potential and own my greatness. She continues to motivate me today.
One day I was feeling stuck in a comfort zone. And the Universe was giving me signs this pattern needed to stop. As I was scrolling through social media, I saw Debra posted a video called the #30DayBigAskChallenge. She passionately shared how asking for what you what pays off. In Debra’s situation, a “big ask” she made to a TV executive 15 years ago ended up landing her a dream job freelancing for CBS. It took her several asks to get there.
Debra’s story reiterates our dreams and goals are not spoon fed to us. And if you’re making excuses, watch her TED Talk. Prepare to be inspired. Big things aren’t accomplished without a lot of hard work, believing in yourself and ASKING for what you want. Ask boldly and with conviction. Be persistent.
You’ve gotta put in the work to feel like you deserve what you are asking for. It’s time to quit acting like we have more than one life to live. If you want to be the best version of yourself – work on doing that now.
When Debra explained the #30DayBigAskChallenge, I knew this is what I needed to do. Reach out to 30 people every day for a month straight. Think of it as a new exercise routine. You are working a muscle that doesn’t get worked nearly enough. But the more you do it, the stronger you will be.
I’ve done a couple “Big Ask Challenges”. Both times I kept a log of who I reached out to and what I asked them. It also helps you keep track of who to follow up with.
My scariest ‘ask’ ended up being the most worthwhile. Someone I interned for more than a decade ago helped propel the careers of three people now on Good Morning America. I’ll call him Fred to avoid being redundant with pronouns. I didn’t do a good job keeping in touch with Fred. When I found the courage to reconnect with him, I asked if he would watch some of my recent work. I was prepared for him to either not see or ignore my email. But that was an assumption/story I made up to feel safe. Turns out Fred was happy to schedule a call. He liked what I sent him and gave good feedback. Fred ended up connecting me with someone I was struggling to get a response from before. Asking often has a ripple effect.
You’re not going to get a response or call back from everyone. But if you want something bad enough, follow up. There’s nothing to fear other than not asking at all. Get creative. It only takes one “YES” to change your life.
You are the dreamer of your dream, and no one can take that away from you. But opportunity doesn’t fall out of the sky. You must introduce yourself and make connections. Research the person you’re trying to reach.
What’s the worst that could happen? Why are you waiting? What do you have to lose?