ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT

My friend Debra Alfarone is an incredible mentor, an accomplished journalist and a beacon of positivity. She coaches her friends, entrepreneurs and a tribe of TV news women to get out of their own way. That all starts with preparation and confidence.

When we first connected in 2016, Debra helped me grow as an anchor, reporter and person. She was the inspiration I needed to reach my potential and own my greatness. She continues to motivate me today. One day I was feeling stuck in a comfort zone. And the Universe was letting me know it was time to get out. As I was scrolling through social media, I saw Debra posted a video called the #30DayBigAskChallenge. She passionately shared how asking for what you what pays off. In Debra’s situation, a “big ask” she made to a TV executive 15 years ago ended up landing her a dream job at CBS Newspath.

Debra’s story reiterates the fact that our dreams are not spoon fed to us. And if you’re making excuses, watch her TED Talk. Prepare to be inspired. Our goals aren’t accomplished without a lot of hard work, believing in yourself and ASKING for what you want.

Most opportunities I’ve missed out on are either because I was afraid to ask for them or because deep down, I felt like I did not deserve them. Remember - the obstacle is the way. I take pride in my ambitious work ethic and my high standard for self-improvement. I strive for excellence in everything I do. I invest in myself. We have to quit acting like we have more than one life to live. If you want to be the best version of yourself – work on doing that now.

The best way to stop feeling stuck is to do something bold and out of your comfort zone. So when Debra announced her #30DayBigAskChallenge, I knew this is what I needed to do. What better way than to have that kind of discipline for an entire month?

I held myself accountable by keeping a log of who I reached out to and what I asked them. The scariest ‘ask’ ended up being the most worthwhile. Someone I interned for more than a decade ago helped propel the careers of three people now on Good Morning America. I didn’t do a good job of keeping in touch with him. This news executive was always kind to me, but his success intimidated me. I played small because the people who worked for him seemed so together, important and accomplished. When I found the courage to reconnect with him, I asked if he would watch some of my recent work. I was prepared for him to either miss/ignore my email or rip my work apart. But that was just a story I made up to myself. He was happy to schedule a call. He said he liked my natural delivery and presence on camera. We talked for 20 minutes. The “Big Ask Challenge” had a ripple effect from that one phone call.

You’re not going to get a response or call back from everyone. But if you want something bad enough, follow up. It only takes one “YES” to change your life.

Asking for what you want will get you much further than if you don’t ask at all, which is nowhere. Don’t fear rejection. It works a muscle we don’t use enough and helps build a thick skin. It also helps you see what you need to work on.  

I implore you to ask for everything you want in life. You are the dreamer of your dream, and no one can take that away from you.

Stop making excuses. Work on yourself. And ASK for the opportunities you daydream about. What’s stopping you?